- me:oh yes I'm a photographer. would you like to see some of my work?
- me:*shows selfies*
Oliver the Dog and Arashi the Cat: the cutest best friends ever!
I give up I will never find a friendship like this
When men talk of women and girls in terms of legal/not legal, what they’re really saying is “I already sexually objectify this child and would attempt to fuck her if there were no laws in the way.”
You can’t deny that is fucking scary.
Sometimes there are things that just sort of vaguely seem wrong, but you can’t put your finger on why…until it’s worded like this, and suddenly everything slides into place and you feel like someone punched you in the gut.
The only thing funnier than a pun is the look of utter disappointment, hatred, and/or disbelief from the people around you
My lifes not going too great at the moment. I had planned to have petted at least 40% of the dogs on planet earth by now and I have petted maybe 0.5% of the dogs.
I just did the math and it turns out 0.5% of the dogs on the planet is 26 million and I dont even think I’ve petted that many :(
when you spend more than $20 in front of your friends
honestly i hate when people try to sugar coat shit like if you don’t like me or don’t wanna hang or don’t wanna talk to me just fucking tell me don’t keep ignoring me and expect me to figure out the hint like that’s such a bitch ass move i’d rather hear it from you than be ignored 99% of the fucking time.